There are a lot
of things about being pregnant and giving birth that no one ever told me about.
I think women often feel obligated to pretend that some things don’t happen in
an effort to not discourage another from wanting a child. I feel quite the opposite
and am happy to spill the good, the bad, and the ugly to anyone who asks. I
don’t have a lot that I consider “too personal” when it comes to this
pregnancy process. Having gone through childbirth spreading my legs for
who knows how many strangers that came in and out of the delivery and recovery
rooms, I don’t really feel like I have much else to hide. There are a lot of
weird, gross, call them ugly, things that you and your body go through. All said, at
the end of the day, I believe that the process of pregnancy and childbirth
truly is amazing and being able to experience it is an incredible blessing. The
minute I finished giving birth to my first son, I remember feeling sad for a
moment that it was over. Thankfully, I was able to experience it again a year and
a half later and will for a third time in a few weeks. It’s likely that my
third will also be my last so I’ve told my husband to gear up for an emotional
delivery. I will miss but cherish childbirth, my bump, and those rolls and
kicks that often keep me awake at night. There are five things, however, that I
will not miss; these are the uglies no one cared to share with me…
*Please note that I use
the word “will” loosely below… every woman and each pregnancy is
different so you may or may not experience these…
1. Your belly
will get hairy.
My husband
and I went to a destination wedding on a beach when I was 32 weeks pregnant
with my first. My husband is a saint when it comes to giving me compliments and
telling me I look beautiful when I feel like an ogar. He thinks pregnant women are beautiful and I love that about him. Knowing that I would be fully
embracing the bump on the beach with a bikini, he did however suggest that I
maybe get my belly waxed before we leave… Coming from the man who has Native
American roots so “suffers” from zero body hair and a head full of
hair. I’m not entirely sure if he was serious or kidding. Needless to say I embraced the bikini bump, hair and all. 
Now pregnant with
my third, even my three year old has noticed the hair. The other night as I sat
with my shirt pulled up (as I often do to alleviate some of the itching that
also comes along as your belly expands), he sweetly asked why I “have fur
all over my belly”… Maybe I should have gotten that pre-bikini belly
wax…
2. You will
have night sweats.
I’m not
talking about the occasional you wake up hot from the summer heat kind of night
sweat. I’m talking about waking up at 3am literally dripping with sweat. Wet
hair, boob sweat (you know what I’m talking about), and leg sweat among other
places we don’t need to speak of. So it’s 3am and you already have trouble
sleeping, and now you need to get up, dry off, find dry clothes, and potentially
change the sheets. Sexy, I know. Unfortunately, I don’t sleep well without at
least a bedsheet draped over me, however I did finally discover the best clothes
to wear to (as much as possible) try to avoid the sweats: my husband’s white
cotton undershirts and his boxers. The cotton is the key here. Shoot for thin,
looser fitting, 100% cotton garments to sleep in and you’ll have your best shot
at steering clear of the dreadful sweats.
3. You will
have horrendous, completely outlandish dreams.
This is something I
experienced with my first two pregnancies to an almost unbearable degree. I had
a few memorable ones with my third, but I recall not wanting to go back to
sleep with my first two pregnancies because I would have intense, vivid dreams
and/or nightmares. With my first, this was my biggest complaint about
pregnancy. Thankfully, I’ve finally blocked the details of my worst out of my mind.
As if your body isn’t going through enough while awake… these are just
rude. 
4. Your baby
in utero will eat your brain.
Not literally obviously, but that’s the
excuse I use when I can’t find even the simplest words to say. You may have
heard of “baby brain” before. Sounds ridiculous, but sadly, it
exists. I’m sure it can be prevented for the most part with good hydration, nutrition, and sleep, but I have days where I just shouldn’t speak. Beyond saying silly
things, you might do silly things like put your dishes away in the refrigerator
or put the milk in the pantry… Those moments are the most entertaining for
everyone. 

and finally…
5. You will
have the worst “period” of your life post delivery.
One of the
perks of being pregnant is that you go without a period for at least nine
months. Don’t get too excited though. Your body comes back with a vengeance
post delivery. It’s amazing how much extra blood your body produces and
holds while pregnant. It’s also amazing that you can then lose such an extreme (or
seemingly extreme) amount of blood and not need a transfusion. Enter Depends.
Seriously… You’re welcome. 

Sorry for those
sexy spoiler alerts. No one ever braced me for the above, and I wish someone
had. Granted some, if not all of these, might be mentioned and explained in
those tell-all pregnancy books, but I chose not to read those in fear that I
would self-diagnose my baby and/or myself with something awful. I also liked
going into the delivery room without expectations as I felt that made the experience
that much more enjoyable. 

Like I said,
regardless of all the spoken and unspoken uglies, pregnancy is a beautiful gift
and my babies were worth every second of ugly that I went through. Just like
they say, you gotta take the good with the bad because regardless, a beautiful and perfect gift from above is on the horizon.
xo,
Stephanie